he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
