We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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