She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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