I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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