He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
