Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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