just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
