I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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