If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
love makes seman taste better
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Randomize
