I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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