Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I want a musical about memes.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
