When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
