My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
