Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize