Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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