No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
