We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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