please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
