I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think my vagina is haunted
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
