i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I pour the whiskey from now on
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