yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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