I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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