Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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