Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
