Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
