Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
