I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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