my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
