He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
