Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
