i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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