TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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