Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
