someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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