Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
