Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
