the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
