piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I love you. Go after that dick
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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