I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
