We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
