I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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