You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
