lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
