Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
