Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
