Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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