their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
