found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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