at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
