Do vagina's smell?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
